Baby #3: Pregnancy Complications

We are having another baby- a boy!  I have been sick and so focused on making it to Ben's graduation that I haven't really let that sink in.  We are having ANOTHER baby.  I often feel so inadequate as a mother and this idea has been terrifying to me.  I have always wanted a big family and I do want this baby but I am scared.

We found out we were expecting in December, right before Christmas, so, like with James, I was pretty sick during the holiday's and unable to eat all of the delicious Christmas goodies (I weirdly have a strong aversion to chocolate during my first trimester- it's sad). This time, knowing that I would be so sick, I started using motion sickness bands, preggie pops and ginger gum from the beginning and it really helped.

Between 5-6 weeks I was put on progesterone, as I was with the other two kids.  This time, however it effected me differently; instead of only increasing my nausea it gave me horrible migraines.  It was convenient that it was over the holidays because Ben had about 3 weeks off of school and he was able to help a ton.  I would 'survive' until he got home from work and then, the moment he walked in the door, I would struggle upstairs to lay in our dark, cool, quiet room with a pillow on my head.  It was a pretty hopeless situation and I really struggled; feeling useless and like I was going to die.  This lasted through January and most of February (I was able to rouse myself for Elizabeth's birthday but not much more). Once I stopped the progesterone my migraines stopped within days. YAY!

Then I started getting some intense lower abdominal cramping.  I went to the Dr and we checked for tubal pregnancy's and anything worrisome but the baby was healthy and strong.  The Dr said that it was probably an intestinal virus.  This scared me a lot, thinking I was going to loose the baby, and I got a blessing from our Bishop; in the blessing I was told that this baby would have the chance to have a mortal body.  This gave me peace and, throughout other complications, has helped me feel a little more confidence that things will work out.

I then continued the pregnancy; struggling with bad groin tendon pain, which we were able to fix (with changing my routine- don't dead lift a 30 lb toddler). Then in one moment, I ignored the Dr's advice, and dead lifted a case of water at Sams Club and POP.  I got what we think is an umbilical hernia (hard to tell for sure).  This made Ben determined that I needed to SLOW DOWN.  I was so frustrated because I was able to do everything with our first two kids up until my due date; why should this be different? So I, grudgingly, changed my routine a little more (exercise 3x week).

I guess I didn't listen to my body enough because this last Tuesday I tore the intercostal muscles in my ribs. (Don't worry- baby is happy and healthy).  This pain feels like a stitch in your side (knife stabbing between your ribs every time you breath) but it unyielding.  The Dr compared the recovery to breaking your ribs; there's nothing we can do about it but grin and bear it and do as little as possible to not irritate it. I was told it could take 3 days to multiple weeks to heal.  I was so frusterated, why? Why was this happening?  I was not put on bed rest (I have two kids at home) but was told to do as little as possible.  During the day I am able to function but at night it is horrific,  I have been sleeping sitting straight up (improving my posture) for three nights. On a positive note;  I am healing so quickly.  On Wednesday I could only manage to get in about 40% of a breath before intense pain but I am not getting up to 70%- so I am breathing much better.

So I'm frustrated.  I am 29 weeks pregnant and can't do what I want to do; I can't play with my kids, weed my garden, go hiking or exercise.  But I have been trying to find some positivity to these trials.
1.  I have been fortunate that Ben has been able to be home to help a lot (school breaks or after graduation) and that, when he isn't available, we have family so close.
2.  I have amazing kids and although these months of 'inattentive mothering' has been killing me, they are such champs.  James really won't remember this much and Elizabeth has been such a great helper. Ben also keeps reminding me that I am mothering by allowing my body to create our new little boy.
3. Maybe I am being slowed down now, early in my pregnancy, because Heavenly Father is preparing me for later on in the pregnancy or is helping me to avoid something worse.
4.  I have had to have faith in priesthood blessings and rely more on the spirit and have faith that there is a plan for us.
5.  I have come to love this baby boy, not just because I don't want to be pregnant anymore, but because I know that this is worth it to bring this sweet soul into our lives.

Cross your fingers that the next 11 weeks goes smoothly, that I can listen to my body (and Ben and the Dr) more and keep myself healthy and that our sweet baby boy can continue to grow strong and healthy.