metaphorical long winded opinionated writers

I like reading some of my friends and families blogs because they are so metaphorical, packed with theory and reason and contain the meanings for every small detail in life; why do people flinch when they hear a loud noise? Can a dog really smell fear? And why is it bad to eat yellow snow if pee is really as sanitary as they say? As I read these entries I often contemplate my own style of writing and in turn my own style of thinking.
My thoughts are strange and often surprisingly bizarre however I am very blunt, forward and to the point in my writing. This alter does not make it easy for me to express my thoughts or feelings.

My forward communication is a good quality to have, if there were a burning building and you were telling the residents to exit in this case you would not want a long winded theological advisor, “In my opinion it would be to the best advantage to your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing to calmly and collectively exit the premises. If you decide that this is not what you feel would best suit your own needs or conscience please let me know your… ahhh!” Death! However for some topics and points, especially when writing, it would be nice to be able to describe with an interesting vocabulary and have a fluidity about my words that would both interests the reader as much as make my point.

I wish there were a class I could take to teach me to be a metaphorical long winded opinionated writer. I suppose until then I will have to continue reading the entertaining thoughts of others and ask my friends and family… what can I do to be a better writer?