Hiking Revelations and Temple Work

As anyone who has recently been reading this blog knows- I have been really thinking about Aaron. Maybe thinking is not the best word- mourning would probably describe my feelings better. The one year anniversary (which sounds like a celebratory word but I have found that it isn’t always) was on Tuesday June 28. I woke up that morning dreading life and decided to take a hike in the beautiful Rocky Mountains to clear my head and cry a little. I went by myself up Maple in Boulder and just kept going; past the normal hiking spot, over a mountain, up a mountain and I finally landed at an off the road hike all alone. I slung my backpack- containing a journal, the Conference Ensign and some yummy snacks. I started hiking, crying and fervently praying for some sort of feeling from the Lord. Half way up I saw a sign “Mountain Lion Country” but I just grabbed some rocks (for protection) and kept going. Only about a minute past this I got a distinct feeling that I should turn around and go back to the car- I listened. I went back to a table near the car took out my stuff and started reading.


I have harbored such angry feelings at the Lord for allowing this trial to come upon my family and for taking Aaron. I have been worried about where Aaron is? What is he doing? How does he feel? Would he receive the gospel (and temple work we were going to do) or would he turn from it? I was worried that I would not feel anything while doing the temple work and therefore my faith would be shaken again. While up on that mountain top I felt so close to the spirit and to my Heavenly Father. I felt assured that I am a child of God and that he loves me. I felt an overwhelming feeling that Aaron loved me and that he was happy and going to be okay. I am so grateful for that experience and how it prepared me to go to the temple with my family.

On Saturday July 2, 2011 the entire Stones Family went to the Denver Colorado Temple to do the temple work for Aaron Lawrence Stones. I was tearful getting the little blue card. I was a little tearful seeing all my siblings and their spouses in the temple. But I was SO full of joy. All my fears or trepidations had vanished. While standing in the Celestial room Michael David (who has such a way of saying things) looked around and said, “Look Mom and Dad, ALL your children are here!”

I love my family. I love Aaron. And I love the temple. I am so grateful that we were able to go and give him this last wonderful gift!

Tough Mudder Colorado 2011

On June 25^th Ben participated in the Tough Mudder.  This is an obstacle race that is hosted in multiple states throughout the year.  The Colorado Race was in Beaver Creek (between 8-11,000 feet above see level). The challenge: run with your team 9 miles in which you all work together to get through 25 obstacles. Now generally you think 9 miles- meh, maybe I could do that! But the difference here is that they are running UP and down ski slopes (aka up horizontal slopes).  Ben ran with a team from Crocs (work) and they did really well. They managed to all finish in about 3.5 hours and after wards everyone was VERY sore and tired. Ben said it was super fun and he would defiantly do it again but with more training next time!

Ben walking in after a hard day at the Tough Mudder!

Here is a video of the Crocs Team  (The crocs team is all in green and Ben is wearing red shorts- he is in it a lot.)

Holding on to Aaron

It has almost been a year since my brother died; I have been thinking a lot about this lately. I thought my life would be easier and my pain would be lessened by now- but it is not. In the beginning I cried daily and thought about him every moment. As time went on I thought of him daily but I started to find joy in my life. As holidays, birthdays or family events came and went I felt empty and lonesome again; but my rebound always came a little sooner than the time before. Then I think of all the times he won’t be there; he won’t meet my children, I won’t meet his. He won’t sing to me my favorite songs or play for me at all. I regret all the time that I wasted with him; all the days I didn’t call, all the times I didn’t see him, all the years I lived angry at him. I miss telling him one last time that I love him! I miss my brother; I miss just knowing he was there if I needed him. I miss him needing me.


I think it is really corny and unoriginal to quote song lyrics and write them off as your own thoughts and feelings. But I am going to do it anyway. I really dislike this band but I heard this song shortly after Aaron died and it brought me some strange comfort. This song captures my anger and confusion (Cuz we’re living at the mercy of the pain and the fear. Until we… Let it all disappear… All I wanna do is trade this life for something new holding on to what I haven’t got…). It makes me feel closer to him because it makes me feel like I can understand how he felt (This is not what I had planned. It’s out of my control… So many things were left unsaid. It’s hard to let you go!) It makes me feel like we are both going through similar things (Picking up those pieces now where to begin. The hardest part of ending is starting again) - like I am trying to move on here without him and he is making progress in heaven. It makes me feel a little closer to him.

I know that this wound will be healing for the rest of my life. I will never forget him; I will never let his memory die in my family or in my heart! I love you Aaron!

Waiting for the End by Linkin Park

*I also think Aaron would have appreciated the digital effects in this music video!

Reassuring Dream

Last night I had a dream that my entire family was sucked back in time (about 10 years). Although we were not the ages we would have been (I think I was still 24) but that is beside the point. I was in talking to my Mom about how weird it was that we went back in time when Aaron walked through the room. My mouth dropped and Mom told me not to tell him about the future. I walked up to him and gave him a huge hug and wouldn’t let go. Finally he laughed (probably out of slight embarrassment that this hug was so long). I told him I just really missed him and just hugged harder trying not to cry (because that would kind of give it away). He then hugged me hard and when he pulled away I saw tears in his eyes and he said, “I love you too, Brea!” The rest of the dream had Michael’s room exploding in the ocean and killer sharks trying to attack us on floaties- but that is really not worth expounding on.

I was so nice to see Aaron, hug him and have him tell me he loves me! It was like an answer to prayers and it gave me a slight sense of closure. It makes me excited for when I can see him again and to get one of his awesome (really long) hugs!

I love you too, Aaron!

Bride of Frankenstein, Medusa or an Alien

The past couple of months I have been switching to a safer seizure medication. It has been a long process but things are going well. We decided to do a new kind of test to see if the medication is working and to see if we can get any results (and find out what is really wrong). The test is called an ambulatory EEG.

Wednesday morning Mom and I drove do South Denver (Swedish Medical Center) for my first appointment. During this the tech marks my head (with a red wax pencil), scrubs my head (with what felt like sandpaper) and then glues on electrodes. Each electrode has glue on the head and then a gaze strip dipped in glue on top of it (so basically it is a LOT of glue all over my head). I had 28 electrodes total, each connected to a long wire. The wires all went into a recording box that I had to carry with me. Sticking the electrodes on took a little over two hours. After they were all on the tech hooked my up to their computer to see if all the wires were working. It looked really cool (like a million heart beats) and then I would blink, talk, or do different things and one line would spike to make a different pattern. It all looked terribly complicated and confusing but very interesting.

So I took my fancy fanny pack and head all jazzed out and went home for 24 hours. During the time I was at home I had to keep a log of what I was doing, so they could make sense of the pattern changes for my every day activities. So I basically watched TV and slept, mainly because I didn’t want to walk around looking like an alien.

Thursday afternoon we drove BACK down to Denver to have the electrodes taken off. This only took about 30 minutes but left me with a LOT of glue in my hair. So we went to Erica’s house where she and Mom spent well over an hour ripping the glue off my head. They used conditioner, baby oil and finally nail polish remover to get the glue soft enough to remove. It was painful and I lost some hair but they were wonderful and it would have been a lot more painful if I had done it alone.

So I am slowly growing the skin back on my scalp and we get the test results back in two weeks- lots to look forward to!

SAN FRANCISCO!!

We arrived in San Fran on Thursday night and went straight to the Golden Gate bridge look out point. It was so cool to see the bridge in real life (and not just in pictures). It is really big and beautiful. We were there around sunset so it was especially beautiful and lit up by the sun.
                                 PICTURES TO COME


After we left the Golden Gate bridge we went to our hotel on the other side of San Francisco. Yes, I got to stay in a hotel. Charlotte and I both don’t really stay in hotels much so we were SO excited and felt really grown up. To add to that grown up feeling I jumped on the bed- super fun. The next morning we ate a HUGE complementary breakfast and took some with us for lunch (not exactly stealing?).

We drove into downtown San Francisco and parked the car for the day. We walked to Pier 39 and got to walk around and see the shops. If you look over the railing on the pier there are TONS of Sea Lions. They made a barking sound that you could hear blocks away. There were easily 50 all sitting on wooden planks sunbathing. There were a couple wrestling in the water and it was really cool to see. I was surprised at how big they were and how lazy they looked. I kept thinking, “These things are so mean they can kill a whale?” But it is true, so I was glad I didn’t see them mad.

At the peir with all the boats!

It is hard to see but there are a TON of sea lions behind me!

Then we continued to walk down the Fisherman's Warf, getting a quick look at Ghirardelli Square, and went to catch a street car. When we got to the start spot (for streetcars) we found them CLOSED. Yes on the first time I had ever been to San Francisco the famous street cars were close. So we took a bus. The bus tried to stay on all the streetcar routes so all the tourists could still see everything.

Our first stop was Lombard Street; this is the windiest street in the US. It seriously had a turn every 10-12 feet and went all the way down a very steep hill. I ran to the bottom and got pictures. Running back up I felt like I was running stairs in a stadium (it was so steep). Then we got back on the bus and took a longer trip to Union Square. I loved driving/riding in San Francisco; every street seemed unique and exciting because they were all so steep. All the roads are on huge hills and it seriously felt like a rollercoaster, I loved it but Charlotte was a little scared (thinking the bus would plummet).

At Union Square we went to Neiman Marcus (a store that one blouse cost’s more than my car). Charlotte’s Aunt told us to go to the café in the top because it had a great view. While there we both ordered a dessert. It was seriously the fanciest restaurant I have ever been to. They gave up complementary chicken broth with a miniature croissant- in little most miniature dishes I have eaten on since I was 5. The view was really cool, although we weren’t sitting by the window so we mostly just looked at the people (lots of fake noses and cheek bones). Charlotte felt a little uncomfortable because we looked like obvious tourists (shorts, t-shirts, tennis shoes and a backpack) and everyone else was in fancy close and suits. But I honestly loved it.

On the way out of Union Square Charlotte wanted to stop by an enormous Old Navy and look around. Then we were back on the bus going down to China Town (the largest China Town in the US). It was cool to walk around and see the Chinese architecture and see every sign in Chinese. I wish we could have stayed there longer and kept walking around (I wanted to eat some rare Chinese food but Charlotte was not to keen on that idea) but we headed back to bus and went back to Pier 39. We ate lunch at Pier 39 while we watched the street performers (who weren’t out in the morning when we were there). Then we went back to the car, stopped to get In-N-Out for Ron/Ben and I went to the airport.

Look at the arcitecture of this building behind Charlotte. Very cool!

China Town- you can see hanging lanters behind us.



This is one of the street performers at the Fisherman's Warf. We sat and ate lunch near here and watched him- it was cool.



China town

So I know I shouldn’t complain about the San Francisco Airport but... I am going to. It was bar none the most confusing airport I have ever been in and I have been in quite a few. I went in, went to Terminal 1 and went through security (no problems). I walked all the way down and could not find my gate, so I went back to security to ask. They told me that there had been construction and my gate was not at Terminal 2- they just hadn’t got around to changing the signs yet. So I had to leave the airport, walk to Terminal 2 and go through security AGAIN. This time there were issues. They were making everyone go through the scanner thing (hold your arms still, don’t move) and before hand asked if we had anything in our pockets). After I stepped out they took me aside and said I hadn’t emptied my pockets, I checked and had my PAPER ticket in my back pocket so they gave me a full pat down. Then they took me to another room where they wiped my hands with a piece of tissue paper and then ran the tissue paper through a machine to make sure I did not have explosion residue on my hands. Seriously? All of this for one piece of paper? I was so frustrated when I FINALLY got to my gate.

So I had a great trip (not a great airport ending). I had to much fun with Charlotte and touring around Northern California!

Monterey and Steak

On Thursday of my trip we left Sonora and headed down through Modesto (to pick up Charlotte’s friend Katie) and then to Monterey. Charotte and Katie lived in Monterey after high school and they had lots of cool places to show me.


We went to the Monterey Aquarium and saw some cool sea creatures. I think my favorite were the sea horses. There were sea horses that looked like leaves- they were so hard to see. It was SO weird that they looked unreal- alien-esk. We also got to see them feed the otters, which was really interesting and funny. The otters are defiantly all about showing off. I also got to touch a sting ray- which was really cool (I have liked sea rays since doing a big project on them in the 4th grade).

We left the Aquarium and went to some beaches to walk around and see the sites. I have never been to mid/northern California and so I just expected everything to be like southern CA. I touched that water and it was freezing, defiantly no surfing for me (although there were a couple people out in the water). It was just so relaxing and fun to be able to sit on the beach and relax (although if you know me you know I didn’t really relax but was kind of crazy).

We left Monterey mid afternoon and went to Katie’s Grandma’s house ( I can not really remember which town-oops) and went out to dinner with Grandma Fay and Katie’s Aunt. They took us to a bbq place and I got a steak salad (yes, I know I ordered steak, unbelievable). It was crazy because it was just cut up lettuce with a steak on top. It made me laugh but it was DELICIOUS. We left around 6:00 to go to SAN FRANCISCO.

PICTURES TO COME (I can't get the pictures off the ipod they were saved on!)

Exploring Sonora and the Farm

Charlotte grew up in a little mountain town in the Sierra Nevada’s called Sonora.  It was such a cute little town and was surrounded but the most beautiful forest.  Charlotte’s Mom gave us a huge warm welcome (and made us delicious food). We also went out to her Uncle Carl and Aunt Nancy’s house; it was one of the most beautiful drives and ended at their 18 archer farm.  Carl built the house and he showed me his built in movie theater and Nancy’s sewing room (my dream of perfect organization).  Their daughter Katie and her husband, Larry, work the land and have a fully functional organic farm.  They also have chickens and goats (for milk).  It was fun to see the animals and try to touch them.  Their two year old son, Avery, had no problem with the animals and would walk up to the chickens and pick them up by their tails.  I thought it was so funny and I wish I were that brave as a 2 year old.  We spent the evening at a farmers market with Katie- it was so wonderful and everyone in these small mountain towns are so friendly.

We also got to see Charlotte’s good friend (and best friends Mom), Sister Price.  She showed us around her store and then we got to see her at Institute.  It was so much fun to see where Charlotte grew up and meet her family. They are all AMAZING!

PICTURES TO COME!

Historical National Park: Columbia, CA

The Sierra Nevada’s are well known as being the hub of the California Gold Rush/ 49er’s. A town about 5 minutes from Charlotte’s house is where the park for this huge American movement is celebrated.  The entire town is set as if it is 1949. The buildings are old and if you look through the windows the shops are all set up like they would during the Gold Rush.  There was an old fire truck, a ‘dentist’ office, grocery store, a blacksmith and candle maker. The people that worked at the park were all dressed in period clothing and it was fun to talk with them.  It was on a beautiful mountain side (with mined in rocks) and gorgeous woods.  It was so much fun to look around and see this great American history.

PICTURES TO COME                       

Gift of Life and Breath/ Wyatt's Birthday

This was our second year running this race (5k) and we both got better times then last time. Ben ran alone and he ran fast ending at 28 minutes.  I ran with Mylie and we ended at 43 minutes (?). She was great and really kept me going.  It was so much fun and fun to do things with Mat’s family.  

Afterwards we went to a grad party for two of Ben’s scouts and a baby shower for one of our good friends. THEN we headed to Longmont for Wyatt’s 2^nd Birthday party.  The Birthday party was so much fun- to be with the whole family and the Wilson’s.  It was so cute watching Wyatt (with Alice’s energetic help) open presents- he is talking more and it’s fun to see his personality coming out!!

Roasting at the firepit.

Wyatt didn't really care about anything but his cars.

Sean with a GIANT roasted marshmellow.

(Sorry I didn't get to posting this before I left for my trip...)

 

Frog Jump Jubilee

The Sierra Nevada’s are an extraordinary mountain range packed full of history and adventure.  Each small town, tucked away in the vast trees, has it’s own story, festival or quirk that makes it worthwhile.  One of these towns is Angels Camp California home of the Calaveras County Fair.  This fair is especially exciting because it hosts the ‘Frog Jump Jubilee.’ 

This ‘sport’ of frog jumping is based on the book "The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County" a short story written by Mark Twain (who lived in these mountains).  The participants catch a frog, train the frog and then (on a stage/platform at the County Fair) see how far they can get their frog to jump. Some people clap, some bang the ground, some yell- but in the end, the frog jumps.  It is really interesting and fun to watch. (Click here to see a video of this Festival on Jay Leno).

Because of this exciting event the town is…frog-a-fied. There are frog statues, frog decorations in yards and on doorsteps, and frogs painted on the intersections. As we drove through this city I could not stop myself from laughing at this town’s creative way of ‘putting themselves on the map.’ It was hilarious and at the same time really interesting. 

Yellowstone National Park

Charlotte and I went to Yellowstone National Park on Saturday.  It was Charlotte’s first time (and we figured since she was leaving Idaho, it would be a good memory). For her first time it started out great- about 10 minutes into the park we saw a bear! It was a medium sized black bear up on a hill. It was so exciting to see a wild bear (a rare and slightly dangerous thing) and it kind of lessened the excitement for the rest of the animals we saw through the park- herds of buffalo, birds, deer and more buffalo. 

We also got to go and tour the many geysers, mud pots and mineral pools. Although when we were walking around these areas it started to SNOW (yes, it was almost June and it was snowing- only in Idaho).  Although we were freezing we kept going and saw some really pretty and amazing things. 

 

One of the “must see’s” at Yellowstone is Old Faithful (a huge geyser).  We got to see that and walk through the visitor’s center.  After that we went and saw the Yellowstone ‘Grand Canyon’ and some beautiful falls.  It was such a beautiful trip, despite the cold, and we were really glad that we went. 

 

 

 

 

Japanese Tourist!

Did you know there is an I-MAX in Yellowstone?

Road Trip: Part 1

Charlotte has been living in Rexburg and it now moving to California to go to grad school.  I decided to go help her pack and move (it was really just an excuse for a fun road trip).  We had/are having so many adventures.  Here are a few…

I first flew into Salt Lake City and got to spend the afternoon with Jer and Heidi’s family.  I am always amazed by how tall the kids get between visits- they are all so fun and so great. Charlotte picked me up there and we went up to Rexburg to pack. 

Charlotte took me around the BYU-Idaho campus to see all the new changes and renovations. Ben and I graduated 2 ½ years ago and haven’t been back since.  There were so many changes to campus- new sky walks, a new Conference Center (BYU-I Center aka the Coliseum), and all the updated stuff.  She also drove me around the town and showed me the new complexes and strip malls. It was great to see Rexburg again but it just solidified the feelings that we needed to move and we are done with that phase of our lives. 

We worked hard to pack Charlotte’s stuff and then try to pack everything in the car. The downfall- it was raining and hailing when we had to pack the car AND there was a lot of stuff. We managed to get everything in with the great ‘push it in and slam the door’ technique.  We ended up driving with a trash can and piano stand between us and some stuff in the passenger’s feet- but it was all in!

We started for CA Tuesday morning at 7:00 and drove…and drove…and drove.  From Rexburg to Sonora is about 13 ½ hours- we only made two stops (one at In-N-Out for dinner) and gained an hour in the time change- so it was a great drive.  It didn’t feel so long because we talked a lot and sang loudly to most of the Glee Soundtracks.  I had never been to Northern California and the drive through the Sierra Nevada Mountains was beautiful.  The trees look different than Colorado trees and it was just beautiful.  While driving Charlotte told me about the towns and countryside- I learned so much and am excited to share it all with you!!

Rockies vs Padres

Ben and I went to the Rockies/Padres Baseball game on Saturday.  It was a great game, full of suspense and action (during some innings).  The only problem- the RAIN! It was not hard enough for the game to be called but enough to make it uncomfortable. We had on rain coats and an umbrella over our legs. The Rockies were up 2 at the top of the 8^th so we left… come to find out- we lost! But it was still a fun game- that left us cold and damp the rest of the day!